88 Mortal Kombat Jokes So Bad They'll Finish You (With Laughter)

Mortal Kombat Humor: 88 Jokes That Hit Harder Than Scorpion

Whether you're a die-hard Mortal Kombat veteran or just love watching people explode into slow-motion giblets, there's one thing we can all agree on: the franchise is deadly fun. So today, we're dialing down the violence and turning up the dad jokes—with a blood-splattered twist.

Ready? Get over here—and prepare to laugh like Shang Tsung after stealing a punchline.

🎮 CLASSIC KOMBAT PUNS

1. Why don’t Sub-Zero and Scorpion hang out? Because things always end icy.
2. What’s Liu Kang’s favorite type of music? Dragon roll.
3. Why did Johnny Cage break up with Sonya? She said no strings attached—he thought she meant fatalities.
4. How does Scorpion greet his friends? “GET OVER HERE… and let’s hang out.”
5. What do you call Raiden with a short temper? Thunder-snappy.
6. Why didn’t Kano win the spelling bee? Because he kept eye-laser focusing on the wrong words.
7. How does Mileena eat soup? Aggressively.
8. What’s Kitana’s side hustle? OnlyFans. (It’s just fans. Literal fans.)
9. What’s the name of Shao Kahn’s favorite podcast? “You Suck and You Die.”
10. Why don’t Baraka and Wolverine hang out? They both say snikt too much.

🤡 SCORPION & SUB-ZERO JOKES

11. Why did Scorpion become a gardener? So he could yell “Get over here!” to the weeds.
12. What’s Sub-Zero’s favorite dessert? Chill-o.
13. Why did Sub-Zero get kicked out of Starbucks? He kept freezing the frappuccinos.
14. Scorpion tried yoga once.
     He absolutely nailed the fire pose.
15. What’s Sub-Zero’s dating app bio? Cold hands, warm fatalities.

💥 FINISH HIM FUNNIES

16. Why did the chicken cross the road in Mortal Kombat? To get to the fatality.
17. What does Liu Kang say to his haters? KICK rocks. Literally.
18. Why don’t Mortal Kombat characters ever win acting awards? Too many over-the-top performances.
19. How do you know when someone mains Raiden? They shock you with it every 5 seconds.
20. Why is Reptile bad at poker? He always shows his true scales.

🐉 DRAGON-LIKE DAD JOKES

21. What did Kung Lao say after laundry day? “I cleaned the hat-trick.”
22. Why did Shang Tsung start a food truck? Because he wanted to steal more souls and salads.
23. What’s Jax’s favorite pickup line? “Need a hand?”
24. Why did Goro quit Mortal Kombat? He couldn’t handle the pressure (even with four hands).
25. What’s Sindel’s favorite vocal warm-up? “AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaaaaa!”

😎 JOHNNY CAGE JOKES

26. Why doesn’t Johnny Cage need sunglasses? Because his ego blocks the sun.
27. What did Johnny Cage name his autobiography? “Punch First, Selfie Later.”
28. Why was Johnny Cage banned from the arcade? Too many low blows.
29. What’s Johnny Cage’s favorite drink? Punched-up Protein Smoothie.
30. What happens when Johnny Cage joins a book club? He reads between the punchlines.

🔥 MORE TOASTY ONE-LINERS

31. Toasty is just the Kombat version of a mic drop.
32. You know you’ve played too much MK when your thermostat reads “Finish Him!”
33. Who needs therapy when you have fatalities?
34. My relationship status? It's complicated—like Mortal Kombat lore.
35. I don’t always do fatalities, but when I do… I miss the input.

💀 LET'S SPEED THINGS UP...

36. How do you compliment a ninja? Nice shadow work!
37. What's a Mortal Kombat character's least favorite mode of transportation? Uber… too many fatalities.
38. Why did the announcer fail as a life coach? All he could say was “Finish Him!”
39. Why doesn’t Noob Saibot go to parties? He always fades into the background.
40. Who does Scorpion call for emotional support? The fire department.

41–88: Rapid-Fire Fatal Fun!

41. Reptile's skincare routine: camouflage and crying.
42. Raiden’s electric bill? Shocking.
43. Baraka flosses with barbed wire.
44. Sub-Zero can’t microwave anything.
45. Goro claps weird.
46. Shang Tsung’s go-to karaoke song? “I Will Steal Survive.”
47. Mileena’s smile was sponsored by Nightmare Fuel™.
48. Jax arm wrestled a train—and won.
49. Kung Lao cuts pizza like a pro.
50. Kano's Tinder bio just says “Eye for an Eye.”
51. Scorpion owns stock in grappling hooks.
52. Johnny Cage tags himself in fights.
53. Sonya Blade's email signature has a roundhouse kick emoji.
54. Liu Kang rides a bike with flames.
55. Raiden won "Most Likely to Zap the Vibe" in high school.
56. Sindel's singing once shattered a planet.
57. Kitana started a fan club. Literally.
58. Shao Kahn makes his own echo.
59. Reiko shops exclusively at “Axes ‘R’ Us.”
60. Kabal is banned from marathons. Too fast.
61. Nitara flosses with vampire bat wings.
62. Kenshi can see through the drama.
63. Frost is just Sub-Zero’s emo cousin.
64. Cassie Cage uploads fatalities to TikTok.
65. Erron Black doesn’t miss—unless it’s brunch.
66. Kollector is the hoarder of souls… and spoons.
67. Tanya’s favorite color? Betrayal.
68. Ferra/Torr were co-dependency goals.
69. Cetrion would love Pinterest.
70. Kronika could’ve solved everything with a calendar app.
71. Smoke was too vape-core.
72. Cyrax always had the drip.
73. Sektor is proof robots can still be jerks.
74. Shujinko just wanted to help.
75. Blaze? Definitely a Fire-type Pokémon.
76. Havik is chaos. Literal chaos.
77. Hotaru’s law-and-order vibes were a bit much.
78. Onaga’s chiropractor quit.
79. Ashrah’s halo? Probably rented.
80. Darrius wanted to unionize the realms.
81. Drahmin is what happens when your dentist is evil.
82. Kintaro was a furry’s fever dream.
83. Meat deserved better.
84. Bo’ Rai Cho drinks, therefore he exists.
85. Mokap is all of us: confused, underpowered, and canon.
86. The pit level is OSHA’s worst nightmare.
87. Friendships? Still the ultimate flex.
88. You made it to the end? FLAWLESS VICTORY.

And there you have it—88 Mortal Kombat jokes that hit harder than a Scorpion uppercut and land smoother than a Johnny Cage split punch. Whether you laughed, groaned, or did that thing where you exhale slightly through your nose and scroll on, we consider our mission accomplished. Just remember: life’s too short to take your fatalities seriously. Next time someone gets snarky in your group chat, hit ’em with a "Get over here!" followed by a perfectly timed dad joke about Liu Kang’s fireballs.

Because honestly, if you can’t pun your way through the NetherRealm, are you even a real Kombatant?

So go forth, fellow warrior of wit. Spread the Mortal Kombat joy one bad punchline at a time. And if someone tells you these jokes are cringe? Just whisper, “Finish them…” and drop a pun so devastating, they’ll have to respawn with a better sense of humor.

For more pixel-perfect punchlines, stick with Land of Geek Magazine.

#MortalKombat #FinishThem #GamerHumor #GetOverHere #FlawlessLaughs